My Husband

April 27, 2016 by Dana Weaver Leave a Comment

We have been trying to have our own biological baby for 8 1/2 long years. This is one of the most difficult things a couple can go through and can often end in divorce. Thankfully, Jason and I have grown closer through this journey.

I’m the reason we haven’t had kids, because I have PCOS. Jason has been by my side during all of my IF treatments, crazy moments from hormones, Mothers’ Days, decisions to pause our adoption process because my mom was sick, miscarriages, false positives and seasons of depression. Despite all of this, we are stronger than we would have ever been if this hadn’t become our story. In my book, he is one incredible man. We still have a blast together and love traveling as much as possible. God certainly knew what he was doing when he brought us together, and I couldn’t imagine walking this path with anyone else. Love you more than you will ever know, Jason Weaver! #NIAW #startasking

Hope

April 26, 2016 by Dana Weaver 2 Comments

We still believe that it will happen for us. Hope is a beautiful thing! #NIAW #startasking

I am 1 in 8

April 25, 2016 by Dana Weaver Leave a Comment

I am 1 in 8 women struggling with infertility. Did you know that a whopping 12% of married women have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining pregnancy? Here are 10 things that the infertile in your life wants you to know about their struggle.

The experience is more common than you think. I read an article once that says infertility can be more difficult to deal with than cancer or other major illness. Most people don’t see infertility as a medical diagnosis so they don’t understand how difficult it is for us.
Please don’t tell us to just relax, we aren’t meant to be parents, or to just get over it. These have actually been said to me and it is hurtful regardless of the intention behind the words.
Your pregnancy announcement can be difficult for us, but it doesn’t mean we aren’t thrilled for your miracle. We may need a little time to process. The initial news can sting a bit and then most of us can move right into happiness. If we have just had a miscarriage, failed IVF or IUI it may take a little longer.
Please understand if we can’t attend your baby shower. We don’t want to inadvertently ruin your important moment. In fact, talking to us before sending us an invitation can alleviate hurt feelings on both sides-especially if you are a close friend or family member. I haven’t attended one in about 4 years (we have been trying for 8 years) and it’s mostly because tears fall without my permission and I’m terrified of stealing the joy from the happy couple. Terrified. I haven’t attended a shower for any of my nieces and nephew, or for my best friends. I was lucky that timing gave me an out in some cases but I had to admit to the rest that I just couldn’t do it. That admission makes a person feel very small. I was lucky that most understood and were incredibly gracious. They are simply wonderful people.
Don’t tell us that we can “just adopt.” Yes, it is an option that is the perfect answer for some but it will not heal the pain of our desire to see a little mini me running around. In fact, that process doesn’t always end in a baby/child. The pain of a failed adoption after years of infertility is hard too. After paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to conceive, one may not have the money to adopt. It isn’t cheap.
We want to hear about your baby/child and celebrate the little miracle with you. It just may have to be on our terms depending on what is happening on our journey at the moment. We have a new baby niece in the family and one of my best experiences of this past Christmas season was shopping for the little cutie.
The process doesn’t feel fair – to anyone. For all of the feelings that we are experiencing about the fairness of our situation, there are just as many feelings that you might be feeling about us and our inability to celebrate with you. If you are willing, we can get through it together.
Our parents suffer too. I remember my mother trying her hardest to balance the joy of my brother’s new baby and the pain I was experiencing because of a failed treatment. She also endured years of friends telling her we needed to “just adopt” before we got too old. Even during cancer treatment she allowed me to just cry in her arms when I found out my sister-in-law was pregnant. I can’t imagine the helplessness she felt in that moment. This great article helps parents understand how their role is pivotal in a healthy family unit and how to support your fertile and infertile children.
Men suffer in silence. Face it, women are better at communication, so we often reach out to family and friends. Men often find it difficult to express their emotions. In some cases, the infertility may happen because of complications they are having. The burden they are under is very heavy. This isn’t the case in our story, but my husband most definitely hurts too.
We are on an emotional roller coaster. Each negative pregnancy test, hormone treatment, miscarriage, etc. is incredibly hard. On the flip side, a positive test (even if it doesn’t result in a baby), an insemination or IVF gives us profound hope and excitement.

I compiled this list from my own experiences and took a few from others around the web. You can read similar lists here, here and here.

If you have more, I’d love to hear them!

#NIAW #startasking

It’s Infertility Awareness Week 2016

April 24, 2016 by Dana Weaver Leave a Comment

April 24 – 30, 2016 is Infertility Awareness Week, and I will be posting something on Instagram each day to commemorate the week and help raise awareness for the 1 in 8 women who are affected. I’m going to tell parts of our story in hopes that it will help someone who isn’t in a place to tell theirs yet.

We started trying to conceive in 2007, just two years after we were married and were over the moon about having a family. After 3 months we started realizing this wouldn’t be as easy as we thought. I began having woman’s health issues and asked my doctor for help. She put me on Clomid. After 3 cycles of that with no result, I was referred on to a wonderful doctor in Kansas City.

During this time many of my friends were having babies like crazy. Each baby shower that passed became bittersweet. I was so excited for my friends, and so hopeful that I too would be showing off those adorable little onesies at some point. Little did I know we would have years of treatments in front of us, spending many thousands of dollars.

For all of the frustrations we’ve endured, we have been incredibly blessed with those friends and family who have walked this path on a daily basis with us. Their support during times of tears and times of hope has been incredible. I would walk through fire for them for all of they have endured with us.

This year’s #NIAW call to action is to #startasking. If you know a couple struggling with infertility or think they may be, just ask how they are. Remember both the husband and wife are hurting. You can find a short guide to help you talk to them without accidentally hurting their feelings. http://bit.ly/1FJLvWa

Cookies and Gratitude

February 22, 2015 by Dana Weaver Leave a Comment

It’s wintertime in Kansas and with that comes beautiful snow! We haven’t had much of the beautiful white stuff lately, but what we have has been magical. The most recent storm had large clumps of perfectly formed snowflakes almost an inch in diameter.

I have to admit, I went outside and opened my mouth in hopes of catching one of those clusters on the tip of my tongue. Who says we have to dread snow as adults? I think we should still approach it with the reckless abandon of a child. Take snow walks as it is falling. Listen to the quietness as the snow absorbs the sound around us — even in the middle of the city. Look for the redbirds perched in the trees. Make snow angels along the way!

The downside that comes with a large snow is the need to shovel your driveway. Ours is very long and taxing to shovel. A wonderful neighbor has snowblower and cleared our driveway while we were at work. It was such a blessing on a very busy day.

I have been feeling the need to bake lately and this was the perfect reason to make some cookies as thanks for such a wonderful gift. I made oatmeal chocolate chip and peanut butter blossoms.

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip

The secret to making these great? Use real butter!

I’m becoming known for these cookies. I purchase the Betty Crocker oatmeal cookie bag and then add my own chips. I use Ghiradelli milk chocolate and 60% Cacao chips. 1/2 a bag each per bag of cookie mix. I make the cookie dough first and the stir in the chips and bake per the instructions on the bag.

Peanut Butter Blossoms

For these I simply followed the recipe on the bag and placed the Hershey’s Kiss on the cookie immediately after it came out of the oven. YUM!

I ended up making about 4 dozen cookies yesterday so I have been giving them out to friends and family. It’s always a good idea to be an unexpected blessing to someone!

That’s a Whole Lotta Broth!

January 11, 2015 by Dana Weaver Leave a Comment

My husband’s father is having surgery soon and will be on a liquid diet for 4 weeks. I can’t imagine only drinking broth and other liquids for 4 weeks. I think I would go crazy. 4 weeks!

Let me ask you a question: Would you rather fast on store bought, salt laden stock with who knows what additives and chemicals or home cooked stock with real ingredients? Yep, me too and that is what I’m doing today.

I have learned over the years that my way of helping people in a time of need is to cook for them. When my mom was on hospice earlier this year, I helped out by making sure that her and my dad had plenty of food. I would take a day and make all of their food for a week so they would never have to worry about it. Now I can do the same for my sweet father-in-law.

I’m making chicken and beef broth today and I can’t believe how easy it really is. The great thing about broth is that none of the vegetables have to be cut perfectly. Give them a rough cut and throw them in along with water and bones. The hard part is smelling that yummy goodness for hours. These are great recipes to make in the middle of winter when there is snow on the ground and you don’t want to get out of your house.

I’ve learned that bone broth is actually very good and healing for the body. Learn more about this from my favorite PCOS health guru Amy Medling.

The chicken broth recipe comes from the PCOS Diva and I’ve changed it a bit for my personal taste.

chicken carcass
3 carrots
2 stalks celery
1 large bay leaf or 2 small leaves
15 peppercorns
1 onion
6 cloves of garlic
Handful of parsley
1- 1.5 tablespoon salt depending on taste
4 quarts of water
2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar

All of the ingredients for the perfect chicken stock

Throw everything into a stock-pot and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer for 3 hours.

I like to use filtered water for the broth.

The fun part comes when you strain everything from the new broth. I like to use a cheesecloth in a strainer. That way when all of the liquid is strained you can fold up the cloth with the large bits and throw away without a lot of mess.

Cheesecloth makes it easy to keep all of the veg in an easy packet to be thrown away.

Let the broth cool to room temperature and put into the fridge overnight. Scrape off the fat from the top before serving or using in a soup.

After the broth cools, you can skim the fat from the top. Use as a base for soup or as a meal replacement when you are ill.

I took the beef broth recipe from Emeril Lagasse. I couldn’t think of a better chef to reference for this important recipe. I didn’t dice up all of the veg like it calls for in the recipe. I did a large rough cut on all of them.

The red wine and the tomato paste bring out the taste of the beef.

The recipe calls to roast the meat in the oven. For sake of time I skipped this step. Next time I will and it will give the broth a better depth of flavor.

Right before being strained. Look at that beautiful deep red color!

As I mentioned above, I will strain this stock in a similar fashion.

I can’t wait to bring these broths to my father-in-law tomorrow and assure that he has good nutrition during his fast. Plus, I can’t wait to see his face when he tries the recipes!

The Ultimate Blueberry Pie!

December 24, 2014 by Jason Weaver Leave a Comment

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Spring is my second favorite time of the year — just behind fall. The fruits and veggies are amazing and everything outside is fresh and new.

In late spring/early summer you can find an abundance of blueberries. We have friends who go to a local blueberry patch and pick their bounty each year. I haven’t had the chance to do this yet, but I hope to in 2015.

The hubs and my father LOVE blueberry pie in the peak of the season. That is the most requested pie I ever get from them. I really enjoy watching their faces as they bite into the scrumptious sweetness and flakey goodness of pie.

I’m not much of a recipe follower. I use them as guides and then attempt to do my own thing depending on my personal taste. I often find that I’m not actually that inventive, someone (like Ina Garten in this instance) actually has a similar recipe. That’s okay, I’m thrilled to know that we have similar tastes in this area. I mean come on – Ina Garten is fabulous!

Here is my recipe:

Note: I don’t make my own piecrusts. I will at some point, but these days I don’t have the attention span to do it correctly so I buy them from Pillsbury. Don’t judge me.

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.

Ingredients:

4 cups blueberries, washed and picked through
1 cup sugar
½ cup of all purpose flour
Juice of 1 lemon
¼ cup of real butter
Zest of 1 lemon
1 tablespoon milk
1 teaspoon course sugar (or regular sugar reserved from above)

Instructions:

In a bowl, mix together the blueberries through the lemon juice. Be careful not to break the delicate skins of the blueberries.

Roll out one of the piecrusts on a floured surface and place it into a deep pie dish. Pour the blueberry mixture into the piecrust and smooth out with a spatula. Sprinkle the lemon zest over the blueberries evenly. Cut the butter into 1-tablespoon sections and place them all over the top of the blueberries.

Roll out the second piecrust and place it over the top of the pie. Fold the edges under the first crust and crimp all the way around. Cut little holes in the top of the dough around the center for steam to escape. If you are kind of adventurous, you can cut out shapes before placing the top crust on the pie (see picture). If you are really adventurous, you can make a lattice on the top.

Coat the entire top of the pie with a brush dipped in the milk and sprinkle with course sugar. You don’t have to do this step, but it gives a nice shimmer to the top of the pie when it is finished cooking. It’s the little extra steps that make your presentation extra special.

I like to cut three strips of aluminum foil and place them around the edge of the crust so it doesn’t get burned during baking. There are also pie rings that you can purchase that will do the same thing. If you use the foil, make sure you coat the side that goes on the crust with a little cooking spray.

Bake the pie for one hour at 325. When the pie is cooked, let sit for at least an hour for everything to set up before serving.